Confidence - Why You Need It and How to Get It

Confidence, it’s something most people admit they’d like to improve. Below is an excerpt of the blog post written by Andrea Jones about the things you can do to improve your confidence.


Confidence - Why You Need It and

How to Get It

Feeling a lack of confidence can make your head spiral into a lot of self-defeating conversations and that just leads to feeling more lack in the confidence area. 

Wanting to have more confidence makes a lot of sense when you consider that acceptance is one of the 16 basic human needs, according to Steven Reiss, who studied more than 6000 people. Acceptance, is the need for belonging and to be appreciated by your social group, whether that’s with friends, at work or at home. 


When we have self-confidence, we typically tend to be more accepted. Why is that?

Well, it has a lot to do with the Warmth Competence Matrix and how we evaluate other people and groups. Basically, warm people are seen as more empathetic, kind and caring. We tend to trust them more. 

Cold people, on the other hand, are seen as self-serving, feeling superior to others and separate from the group because of it. We don’t trust people who seem cold to us.

Competent people are the ones who seem to be highly capable, confident in their skills and abilities and they are action oriented. Whereas, incompetent people are unskilled, ineffectual and lacking. It feels better to us when we’re around people who are competent. 

When you are both warm and competent, people admire you and that’s the feeling we all really want in our lives and part of the reason we want to feel more confident. Having high confidence, suggest you also have high competence, which is why it is an important trait to cultivate.

The great news is there are things you can do to boost your confidence!

What we believe is true matters!

Confidence comes from our thoughts, which affects the actions we take, and that of course leads to the results we get. So, the place to start is with our thoughts. 

Even if you don’t have a specific skill, your belief in your ability to gain that skill makes a difference to your success. As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you can’t - you’re right!”

The way you perceive obstacles also matters. Is it a challenge in front of you or a wall you feel like you’ll never get around? Re-framing the way you think about a problem will change your reaction to it, and that too will affect your results.

Use confident body language.

Every emotion you feel shows up in your body and is projected for others to see. Think of someone with slumping shoulders, a lowered head and crossed arms, versus someone who’s standing tall, shoulders back and has their chin level. It’s obvious which person is more confident. 

Be aware of the silent signals you’re sending. Not only are they telling the world how you feel, those emotions are also telling your own brain how you feel, and because of that, your brain will send out the appropriate neurochemicals to match. Because the brain and body have a perfect communication system, those neurochemicals will affect the way you think, and we already know how that will affect your results. So adopt confident body language, and you’ll find your thoughts will follow, helping you to feel more confident too. 

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Andrea Jones

Andrea Jones is fascinated with the things that make us tick and how we can use them to step into our full power. As a Communication Specialist, she’s dedicated to helping professionals understand how their clients, co-workers and employees think, so they can build trust faster and create stronger bonds and better relationships. (She can even give you some insight into your spouse!)

 She also brings to the table extensive experience in business management, marketing and television production, combined with her 20+ years of investigation into psychology, NLP, neuroscience, body language and personal development. As a result of this unique combination of skills, her clients typically double or triple their revenue, while they start loving their lives again.